NSBR - dealing with people you are estranged with.....

     My post today is NSBR (not scrapbook related)...so feel free to click the little X 
button at the top if you'd like...but the topic might just help you, or someone you care about, so I hope you decide to read on.  With Fathers Day this week - I wanted to talk 
to those of you who are estranged from your dads...in hopes that things can change for 
you this year.  I'm not an expert, or a psychologist...all I am is a mom, daughter, sister, 
and a wife..  

Casey with his Step dad Del

      Whether it is your sister, your mother, your father, your brother...or just a friend that you haven't spoke to 
in a while, it is really stressful - not only on you, but on them as well when you are not talking to someone you 
care about.  One party or another won't go to events, or won't be invited...it's a back and forth game...I'm perfect example of all the above....  Yet, when it comes right down to it - it really doesn't matter why someone isn't talking to someone else, someone needs to act like a human being and step up to the 
plate, in order to change how things are done.  

Casey with both of his Grandma's

     I have spent who knows how many years, all being so stressed out because of "mouths".. one mouth or another mouth - this person or that person all saying this or that...   Finally on March 6 of this year- one of the people I really needed reached out to me for the first time in quite a few years.   At first I threw it right in her face, until the next day - from that point forward I have been able to have a relationship with my sister that I have always wanted.  She has helped me to grow, helped me to be me again...helped me to find out who I really am... Now we don't go too long without talking to each other!  
     I challenge you to reach out to someone that you have wanted to or needed to - especially if it's your dad.  Keep in mind, you might not get very receptive feedback 
from the other party at first.  I know I didn't...I expected so much more, and go 
knocked down...but I did exactly what Ally told me to do - get back up and not let 
it bother me...  
I reached out, and boy does it feel good not only with that person, but also inside of 
ME.  Don't wait until it's too late to heal with that person, I didn't think I could do "things"...be around "people"...but I was totally wrong. Absolutely totally wrong...  

Casey, me, Del and Terra

     This past weekend - my son graduated from high school...and without going into the "reasons why", I 
will just say that circumstances beyond my control forced me to look at what my CHILDREN NEEDED in their life, 
not what I needed.  No, I did not loose custody of them, 
I let them stay with their dad to be safe from people that were trying to harm me emotionally and physically...so 
the decision was made to let them live a life instead.  I was there along with Del, my husband...my mother and sister Debbie...my ex-husband Robert, our daughter Terra, his mother and brother Scott...along with Roberts ex-
girlfriend Kathy, her father and his friend together came together for the sake of our 
son Casey's graduation.  It all went well, nobody flipped out, nobody acted like a jackass...all in all, it was not too bad at all.  Oh people had to bite their tongue for 
sure - but at least it was done...again for the sake of our children!  

Me, Casey, Terra and their dad

     Sometimes you need to look at things differently - in order to be a better person - or a different person.  It doesn't matter who said what, who did what, who has the kids and who doesn't...it doesn't matter much of anything except being there for them - that's about it.  Sometimes you have to do things you think you couldn't...put your differences aside in order to make the children better people.  
     It doesn't matter who it is, try to heal within yourself, and with the person you need to.  Be strong, figure things out - and if you are doing things the way you've always done them - and you are getting the same results...then maybe it's time you switched it up a
bit and did something DIFFERENT.  The "memories" you will obtain from this "healing" can then turn into scrapbook memories and layouts...with hidden journaling to showcase the journey along the way.  As Oprah once said on her show "In order to HEAL, you have to FEEL"...  Use scrapbooking to help you heal through, and enjoy the journey I know I sure did!  

Lynda Jeffs

 Memories in Tyme